(no subject)

There was a Metafilter thread a couple of days ago commemorating the 17th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death. 17 years. Wow. I realized I had no Nirvana on my iPod, because I got lazy about transferring files onto my iPod when it was new. I rectified that this morning and spent my commute listening to songs that are so burned into my consciousness it seems like they've always been there. How many of us still hear the words "This is off our first record. Most people don't own it." before the first chords of About A Girl?

So it's been about 17 years since I desperately wanted to be Angela Chase, was instead totally Brian Krakow, and now am much closer to being Angela's mom than anything else. When pondering early April, 1994, I think some of us mourn a bit not just for Kurt, but for a time when music mattered with such a fierce intensity in our lives, when it made us feel part of Something Big, when the riptide of the just the right chords could shatter you or make you fly. Now, I have too much in my life that takes time, energy and emotion to sustain, I don't have space for music to matter the way it used to. And I'm ok with that. Just my once a year time to reflect.