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Mar. 10th, 2011 09:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wildflowersoulThese two blog posts are really resonating with me.
I don't like that I've become exactly that cliche of talking so much about the baby, the lack of sleep, the poop. But my life is pretty dominated by that right now. I get an hour on the train each day for "me time" to read/nap/catch up on podcasts, and if I'm lucky I get maybe an hour at the end of the day before falling asleep at 9:30. I feel bad talking baby stuff so much, though, because I know it's one of those things that people without kids don't like talking about (though, really, I don't mind listening to people talk about their pets, and that seems to be pretty equivalent; if it's something that's interesting to my friends then I'm interested in hearing about it). Anyway. Sorry to all of you that are bored with baby talk, hang in there with me and I hope to become more interesting when I can sleep through the night.
I have all this working mom guilt, and it's not so much that I want to do everything perfectly, it's just that I don't want to mess something up so drastically that I ruin West's chances of living a happy, healthy life. I'd like to also retain my own life, my own individuality that's not wrapped up in being A Mom, because if we do our job right then in 18 or so years he's going to be off living his life and we'll need to be not completely subsumed into an identity of only being parents. If that makes sense? I don't think I'm doing a terribly good job at that aspect of things right now, but I hope it will get easier with time.
Also, Christina Hendricks is in Boston today filming around Fanueil Hall.
I don't like that I've become exactly that cliche of talking so much about the baby, the lack of sleep, the poop. But my life is pretty dominated by that right now. I get an hour on the train each day for "me time" to read/nap/catch up on podcasts, and if I'm lucky I get maybe an hour at the end of the day before falling asleep at 9:30. I feel bad talking baby stuff so much, though, because I know it's one of those things that people without kids don't like talking about (though, really, I don't mind listening to people talk about their pets, and that seems to be pretty equivalent; if it's something that's interesting to my friends then I'm interested in hearing about it). Anyway. Sorry to all of you that are bored with baby talk, hang in there with me and I hope to become more interesting when I can sleep through the night.
I have all this working mom guilt, and it's not so much that I want to do everything perfectly, it's just that I don't want to mess something up so drastically that I ruin West's chances of living a happy, healthy life. I'd like to also retain my own life, my own individuality that's not wrapped up in being A Mom, because if we do our job right then in 18 or so years he's going to be off living his life and we'll need to be not completely subsumed into an identity of only being parents. If that makes sense? I don't think I'm doing a terribly good job at that aspect of things right now, but I hope it will get easier with time.
Also, Christina Hendricks is in Boston today filming around Fanueil Hall.
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Date: 2011-03-10 04:14 pm (UTC)Working moms, stay at home moms, it's always greener, right?
I think a hard lesson any parent has to face down is that we're not perfect --- as people or as parents. We'll make mistakes. That's okay. And most of them probably won't screw our kids up for life.
Just do what is best for your family as you can, and West will turn out just fine. And also probably hilarious, if his dad has any influence anyway.
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Date: 2011-03-10 07:48 pm (UTC)I do hope he gets his dad's humor/creativity genes and not mine. Mine are... lacking.
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Date: 2011-03-10 07:53 pm (UTC)glad to have an excuse to use this icon...
Date: 2011-03-10 05:29 pm (UTC)it's not so much that I want to do everything perfectly, it's just that I don't want to mess something up so drastically that I ruin West's chances of living a happy, healthy life.
I know you know this, but I think there is very little you could/would do that would ruin West's chances of living a happy life. I mean, really. All parents make mistakes. Some more serious than others. But in the grand scheme of things, so long as he's got a roof over his head and a mom who loves him, he's going to be okay.
Re: glad to have an excuse to use this icon...
Date: 2011-03-10 07:50 pm (UTC)I guess if I worry about this stuff then I'm probably already doing better than someone who doesn't think about it at all. At least I'm a better mom than Britney Spears!
Re: glad to have an excuse to use this icon...
Date: 2011-03-10 08:39 pm (UTC)Re: glad to have an excuse to use this icon...
Date: 2011-03-11 12:22 pm (UTC)This is exactly what I was telling Cheryl the other day. I spent a lot of time working with parents who did not even think about their parenting behavior or look themselves as being responsible for teaching their children how to be functioning individuals. You are way a head in the game.
Says the Mom who is freaking out about giving her baby enough to eat right now. But my opinion is still valid right? :)
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Date: 2011-03-10 09:17 pm (UTC)well, if you worry about being a good parent, then odds are, you're a good parent.
kids are remarkably resilient. you're not going to mess him up by retaining your sense of self. actually, you'd mess him up if you DIDN'T!
(hug)
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Date: 2011-03-11 03:44 pm (UTC)and... I like hearing about the baby stuff. no worries :)
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Date: 2011-03-11 03:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-13 02:14 am (UTC)